Observe and Notice

"Observe and notice instead of pointing out the obvious"

Children are naturally observant. You want to help foster this by getting them to pay attention to their surroundings. When you are constantly being harped on, it's not only overwhelming but you are more inclined to do the opposite and fight back. It's almost like you feel like you are constantly messing up because adults are telling you to do this and that and expecting perfection.

Instead of you need to put your yellow jacket away—>hmm I see a yellow jacket on the floor.

Instead of you need to give the dog water—> hmm the dogs water bowl is empty.

This prompts the child to pay attention to their environment and encourages them to help without being told to do so. They take ownership of what they are doing. Each child has an inner strength that drives them. When adults interfere and over correct, that inner drive starts to dissipate. Think of it when you are in the car with a “backseat driver.” Listening to a constant barrage of critical commentary just fuels the fire and leads to more breakdowns and tantrums.