Meltdown Tips

When your child is having a meltdown, remember you CANNOT get through to them until they’re calm. What happens if they start hitting? Say “I’m going to hold your body to keep everyone safe.” Some kids may need a sense of touch/slight pressure to help them calm down, but check in with them. If they are calming down, then you can start to let go. I recognize this is difficult to do, especially if you have multiple kids. If one of your other kids asks for you while you are busy with your other child, say “I can’t get up right now but show me what you need.” You don’t want to put focus on the child who is having a tantrum or create resentment leading the other child to possibly act out.

What should you do if this happens in public? First, try to remove yourself from the situation. If you’re in a restaurant/store, step outside. Say “I am going to pick up your body so we can take a break.” Ideally, if you see it starting to escalate, you want to get outside before the hitting. Squat down, sit with them and let them know “I am here. Let me know when your body calms down. It’s hard for me to hear you when you’re screaming (point to your ear).” If it gets bad enough & they are continuing to scream, they’re telling you they need to go home & that’s OK! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Once they are calm: 
1. Validate their feelings “I know you are really mad right now.”
2. Validate what they were doing (even if it’s wrong in your eyes) “You really wanted to pour the salt on the table.”
3. Correct “Pouring salt on the table can be fun, I see that, but salt stays in the jar and is used for food only. When we get home, I can give you some water to pour out or we can go to the park to play with some sand…etc.”
4. Close the loop. This is the most important part & one that’s often missed. “I love you and it’s my job to make sure you are safe, you’re a good person & that your body is growing.”