How to Foster Independent Play

How to Foster Independent Play

Fostering independent play is like a muscle. You have to build it starting early on. Babies and children aren’t meant to be entertained. Letting them observe the world around them facilitates self-initiated movement while also strengthening a healthy attention span.

That being said, if you observe your older child is struggling with independent play, there are things to help encourage your child. It’s best to set them up with fewer items in a space so as to not overwhelm them with options. I think of it like when you walk into a clothing store: if there are too many clothing options everywhere, it makes it hard for you to figure out what to try on. It’s the same for a child but even more so as their frontal lobe (responsible for executive functioning, ie: decision making) is not yet developed. Setting out, for example, one basket of magna tiles and one basket of blocks, some pretend food and a play kitchen provides them with plenty to work with, without option overload.

It is also important to distinguish independent play while you are still near them versus when you are engaging in play with your child. When fostering independent play, you might sit against the wall or off to the side while you child plays. It is best for you to have your hands occupied not with your phone, but either by an activity such as folding laundry, knitting, reading a book, etc. If your child comes to you and asks to play, it is best to respond by saying: 

“I see you playing with XYZ. I am sitting here folding towels. You may help me or you may go back and play and I will watch you".

Of course it is ok to engage with your child when they come up to you. But do it from your spot. For example, if your child says they “made you a smoothie,” you can thank them and ask them what they put in it. Take a pretend sip and then let them know when you are done.

Creative play usually expands when the child is exposed to other children that play imaginatively. If you have an only child, you may want to make extra efforts to surround them with playmates that are developmentally a step ahead. This is why mixed age preschools can be so beneficial if they are held well.

Some of my favorite recommended play items:

Wooden block set 

Barn with some farms animals 

Wooden pretend kitchen (there are a lot of options and price range)

Wooden high chair with pretend dishware

@bigfuturetoys Earthtiles (like magnatiles but less toxic). 

@bellalunatoys waldorf doll

@sarahssilks (use as capes, table cloths, skirts, etc).