Empowering with a "When"

Instead of threatening with an “if,” empower with a “when.”

Using the word IF in a sentence creates a more hostile environment which will inevitably lead to your child lashing out or shutting down. As I have always said, language is so key when speaking to your children. Just the slightest change in your language can impact their behavior in a tremendous way. It does take practice but all I am doing is providing guidance and reminders.

Here are some examples of some switches:

If you don’t put your jacket on then we can’t go.

When you put your jacket on, then we may go.

If you don't brush your teeth then we can't read books

When you brush your teeth, then we may read books

If you don't wash your hands then we can't have snacks

When you wash your hands, we may have snacks