Rhythm is so crucial for children. It is one the secrets to having a peaceful (or somewhat peaceful) home. But how do we achieve this? Children need a balance of what is referred to in waldorf education as in-breath and out-breath activities. The children go through the day alternating between periods of concentrating and expanding, as if they were inhaling and exhaling. In-breath activities require focus and clarity. When you are working on a problem or sitting at a desk, it takes focus and for a young child, this focus will inevitably run out before they get distracted or become tired. They will need to exhale, or have an out-breath activity.

I want you to imagine the below and how you would feel:

Exhale- Waking up

Inhale- eating breakfast

Exhale- playing outside

Inhale- cuddling up and reading a story

Exhale- going for a walk or bike ride

Inhale- having warm tea and muffins

These intervals allow us to naturally have moments where you breathe in and out. Now I want you to imagine the below and how you would feel:

Exhale- wake up

Inhale- breakfast

Exhale- play outside

Exhale- birthday party

Exhale- play date

Exhale- soccer practice

Exhale- eating dinner in the car

A child would inevitably have a tantrum and even a meltdown after not having any in breath activities. The child is not aware that they need these in-breath breaks, which is why it’s important for the adult to choreograph the child’s day to incorporate these alternating periods of inhaling and exhaling.

In the inhaling or in-breath phase, the child is inwardly looking at themselves, they are experiencing a sense of calm and introspection. For young children each in-breath period (being read to, drawing, water color painting, knitting, kneading bread, eating…) is very short because young children can only concentrate for short periods of time. In the exhaling or out-breath period, the child experiences a sense of freedom and excitement, relating mainly to the surrounding world (free play, walking, biking, climbing, play date, birthday party etc.). For every out-breath moment, the child needs a counter acting in-breath one. During an in-breath phase, it’s important that the parent/care taker is present so the child feels seen, heard and loved (ie this adult is here for me). After experiencing this in-breath moment, this is when a child can go off and play while the adult can do what they need to do (make dinner etc). If the child’s cup has not been filled enough with your love and, if in addition, they have not been given opportunities to play independently, you cannot expect that they will be able to sleep by themselves.